paul and corinna and lucas' blog

Just a little thought

Mon, 09 Mar 09 19:22:00 +0000

Watching Lucas grow up doesnt half make me think of how preciuos life is.
Every milestone Lucas has i realise how quick life goes by and how meaningless some things can be.
Like having a nice house, good Job, nice clothes. they are all meaningless in the grand scheme of things.

I want my life to count.
I want to be a blessing to others lives
I want to look back in years to come and think... i gave it everything i have got!
I dont just want to measure myself by what i have but rather than who i have become.
stuff is stuff.
I want to make an impact on this generation, changing lives and making a real differernce.

This year i have been on the academy course at church.
It has caused me to dream bigger and think higher.
To understand how God sees me.

i am excited about my future and want to be a history maker.
I want to express and show God to everyone i meet.

i want my little boy to be proud of me, and make a way for him to be a blessing to his generation too.

I may not be able to shoot like a pro, but I can get injured like one!

Fri, 06 Mar 09 12:34:00 +0000

I am officially in the same glamourous category as Gazza, Michael Owen, Alan Shearer, Roy Keane, Henrik Larsson and Ruud Van Nistelrooy! I would normally be happy about that, except I can no longer sing 'the thigh bone's connected to' anything!! I've got a "partial to near complete tear" of my Anterior Cruciate Ligament and need some Reconstructive Arthroscopy – it's basically hanging on by a tread so they shove a camera in and sew it back up. I hope it's a small camera, not like my old one! Unfortunately Dr Steadman is a little busy... And a little expensive.

Back in October I was playing footie with the guys at work. Towards the end of the match I was spinning away from a tackle but as I planted my right leg (my shooting leg) down it completely gave way. I had worked myself into a great shooting position and was on form (already had my hattrick) so I wasn't about to hold back! I buried it in the bottom corner to seal the match. Then I realised I could hardly walk... It was painful and worryingly it felt like I could put weight on it but it would crumble sideways like a tower of wooden blocks when Lucas whacks it!

I've never really had any bad injuries before – my body just tends to sort itself out (what an amazing design!) – so like always I just rested until it felt better. A month later I tried footie again – didn't last 2 minutes! It's frustrating because I was averaging 3.5 goals a match that season! (If I'd have kept that up I would have been challenging for the golden boot!) I then saw my GP who stalled for a bit to get the swelling down etc., eventually she booked me in for an MRI scan last week (that was a weird experience!) which confirmed the diagnosis. Thankfully it looks like it's not completely torn which I think makes it easier to repair. I'm now getting booked in for that...

What's your Money Saving IQ?

Mon, 16 Feb 09 12:54:00 +0000

Take the test to find out.

See if you can beat my 119 – halfway between average and genius! (21st percentile.) That's 17 correct out of 25 questions – I just didn't know some specifics they asked about. Also it said the IQ calculation includes 'how quickly you complete the test' but I was distracted by a few things at work... That's my exuse anyway! :)

"Eeee, when I were a lad..."

Fri, 12 Dec 08 00:57:00 +0000

So the saying goes, “When I was a child [or shortie if you're a gangsta], I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.”

A lot of people seem to think maturity is to do with age – “a year older and a year wiser” – but I've noticed that personal growth isn't automatic. You have to deliberately put effort in, it doesn't just come naturally. (Unless by nature you're a natural 'grower', but that's rare. Most of us prefer the comfort of familiarity and routine and no change over relentlessly pushing ourselves into bigger and harder things.)

As a birthday card I saw recently put it: “Ageing is inevitable, maturing is optional!”

Being immature isn't life threatening, and it can seem like it's not causing any harm because the harm isn't immediate or obvious. But it hurts those we do life with as well as damaging ourselves. It can rob you of happiness and even health. And the tragedy is how it limits us – it keeps us living a 'small' life that can only handle 'small' things – so it robs you of your potential too. Whether you believe it or not, no matter how old you are, we all have bags of potential, but it is impossible to achieve it without maturing.

If you're a christian, immaturity can stop you fulfilling God's plan for your life, and hold you back from reaching all the people you were meant to reach, so you can understand why God's not neutral on growth!! One problem is, immaturity doesn't immediately present itself as sin. We know God wants us to keep growing, but we still see it as optional. Don't get me wrong, rest is fine, in fact it's an essential part of growth (as any gym devotee will tell you) but God doesn't look too kindly on permenent rest! (Parable of the fig tree, parable of the talents, etc.)

I'm not claiming to be 'Mr. Mature' or anything, but here are some examples of the kind of thing I see in mature people that's lacking in immature:

Are still growing. Mature people keep growing – they are maturing rather than mature. They didn't reach a point and stop growing. They're teachable, open to new things, they try to learn from everyone, etc. Immature people think of themselves as better than other people. They don't like to be challenged. They prefer to keep busy so they can avoid looking at themselves.
Takes responsibility, especially for the consequences of their own actions. They just get on with fixing the problem, and maybe later look at improving the process. Immature people prefer to look for people to blame when something goes wrong. When things need doing, mature people get on with doing them. But you can't rely on an immature person because they buckle under pressure or procrastinate.
Difficult to offend. Immature people get upset at others easily and hold on to it for ages – they don't really 'get' forgiveness, even for tiny things. In fact, they sometimes actively look for things to get offended about. They love to keep score and have an automatic defensive attitude response, whereas mature people 'keep short accounts' and would rather be productive than take part in pointless bickering. (Admittedly I had a headstart on this one because it's nigh on impossible to upset my parents!)
Does things deliberately. Mature people don’t just react to whatever life throws at them, they don’t just do whatever they feel like at the time. They do things thought through and intentional, they make decisions and stick to them. For example, they quit strategically. Sure, there are times when you have to bring something to an end, lots of things have their season, no use flogging a dead horse! But mature people quit things on purpose because it fits in with their plan. Whereas immature people quit out of reaction when the going gets tough because they just want to ease the pressure.
Understands investment. Maturity says "if anything's worth doing it will be hard work", immaturity says "if anything's hard work it's not worth doing".
- Mature people are willing to sacrifice in the short term for a future gain, immature people only want the easiest immediate route. They go for the easy choice, but mature people look for the best choice.
- Mature people realise that if they're going to get anywhere in life, they're going to have to work for it. Immature people expect other people to do everything for them. In christians this often comes out as expecting God to do everything for you.
Doesn't live stressed. Everyone has to deal with stress sometimes, but immature people get stressed out over small things, and as a consequence, can spend a lot of their life stressed out. But it takes much bigger issues to cause stress in a mature person. They are comfortable with asking "what if ...?" and deal with things when they happen, whereas immature people worry about about all the things that haven't and probably won't happen.
Thinks highly of others, not just in terms of value, but also in terms of frequency (i.e. often) and 'how can I help that person'. Immature people are quite often self-centred.
- Appreciates others for who they are. Immature people love to manipulate and control others for their own benefit, through things like guilt trips and emotional blackmail.
- Loves it when others succeed. They encourage others and even help them achieve. But immature people often have that selfish ambition – they want to be seen as much better than everyone else so would rather they don't succeed. Some enjoy watching others fail because it makes them look good. They love to talk themselves up, self-promote. They want to be the big cheese. They would rather be the 'big fish in a small pond' than 3rd or 4th in a team. I’m not saying recognition is evil, but immaturity can make you preoccupied with it.
Open to risk. It's a subtle one, maybe counter-intuitive, but I think the maturer you are, the more willing you are to take more and bigger risks, but as you do so, you also get better at knowing which risks are worth taking. And even when things don't turn out as you hoped, maturity learns and grows from the setback. Whereas immaturity doesn't want you to take any risks at all, and therefore can't learn which risks are worth taking because it never takes any!
Can follow leaders. Immature people make difficult employees because they refuse to be led, don't want to be there, or have major problems with authority. It can be the same in church. It's so easy to say "I follow God" when he's so easy to ignore! But it seems very difficult for a lot of people to follow their unignorable, entirely fallable, in-your-face sinner, God-placed leaders. They would rather 'read the bible' (and ignore all the bits that describe how God almost always works by using humans to lead others). Or if they do try to follow their leaders, and it gets too challenging, some maintain their immature independence and skip on to the next church...
Trustworthy/reliable/dependable. You might not know how they'll choose to do it, but you can trust the mature with £billion decisions; the immature scofts at the decisions they make but you can't trust them to make your cheeseburger!
Stable. Immature people are unstable even when there's no turbulence!
Prefers the spirit to the letter of the law. Immature people love enforcing petty rules, hiding behind policy. In the church, this comes out as a religious spirit. Mature people live with God's way 'written on their heart', immature people try to see what they can get away with.
Sees something working in their own life before they teach it. Like the 'speck in someone else's eye', immature people love to point out where others are going wrong and what they should be doing instead, when it doesn't even work in their own life. Or they spout theories that they haven't actually tested or experienced and don't know if they even work.
And there are probably loads more, say: how they deal with inconvenience, how they focus on important things whereas immature people focus on trivial things, how they see the harm in gossip, how they have confidence without being over-confident or having no self-confidence...

My theory is a lot of immaturity is linked to insecurity. If you're secure in yourself, you're not easily offended, you aren’t threatened by others, you worry less, and see things more for what they are, etc.

So I guess the moral of the story is, we might as well grow up because life's better for everyone there! This is a constant challenge to me because I want that better life.

(And for Christian leaders, Ephesians 4 is pretty key on this. Our purpose is “to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature … we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ”. So it’s our job to get people to grow up!)

How long would it take you to build a house?

Fri, 17 Oct 08 17:39:00 +0000

A year or two? How come we work 25 years to pay for one then...?

Gas

Mon, 15 Sep 08 11:28:00 +0000

No, it's not a blog about flatulence...

Is it legal to change the price of something after you've sold it? What a genius idea! We got a letter from Southern Electric the other day ("September 2008" but was around the 12th we received it) saying "From 25 August 2008 we will have to raise gas prices by 29.2% and our electricity prices by 19.2%" – if they can do that, why couldn't they raise it by 2000% and tell you later...?

And I might be being simple, but how come they're making record profits yet claiming they need to raise prices so much because their suppliers have increased prices? Surely you would keep you would aim to keep your profit levels the same or bring them in a little if you were having to pass the costs onto your customers...? You'd have thought one of the energy companies would have thought of this and would be making a killing now...

Educated Gripes

Thu, 11 Sep 08 21:16:00 +0000

Ok, a bit slow to react to this one – maybe some people will think that negates my first point but anyway...

So girls thrash boys in school and college grades yet again – not exactly news I know – it's the same this time every year. It never sits right with me, and not just because I'm sexist... :) Doesn't it show state that our education system promotes and rewards feminine traits and devalues masculine ones? This is at A-Level too so I don't buy the excuse that it's "because boys develop slower than girls" – what you really mean is boys take longer to learn how to do things that come more naturally to girls – that I agree with, and it's kinda obvious when you put it like that. Boys goof around more? Maybe. But again isn't that a sign that the system just doesn't want to engage them? (It's a similar problem in the church, but that's a whole other blog!) I guess it's just another example of Britain attempting to emasculate itself.

When did university become an end rather than a means? Why is the government obsessed with giving as many people as possible degrees? I went to university as a path to career, and even then the universities were starting to flood with people trying to get degrees in things they have no intention of working in – just to get a degree! What a waste of 3 years! Really a lot of people would be so much better off going into work at 16/18 rather than keep getting qualifications in irrelevancy. Then a year or three later they would be in a much better position to make a choice over whether Uni would really be of benefit. And to top it off, the government insists on basing all this craziness on ladening kids with debt! (A whole other blog too...)

And what exactly is the point of league tables?! I know I've complained about them before but they annoy me... They're just an awful way to measure and compare schools. I've seen enough schools ruined by obsessive pursuit of targets. How do you know historically good grades are any indicator of how good a school would be for your child? And even if they did get you good grades, they could still be sculpting kids that are good at exams but otherwise dysfunctional! One thing I don't like about league tables and targets is they make the school focus on 'getting the average up' which invariably means cajoling every child to improve their worst grades – focus on their weaknesses. They really should be trying to bring out and sharpen their strengths – if you absolutely have to publish league tables, why not just publish the details of each pupil's top grade?